Supporting Neurodivergent Clients: Beyond Autism Awareness

Supporting Neurodivergent Clients: Beyond Autism Awareness

Category: Practical Tools & Skills
Reading time: 8 minutes

Your client fidgets constantly. Struggles to maintain eye contact. Seems rude or blunt. Forgets appointments despite reminders.

You wonder: Lack of engagement? Resistance? Anxiety?

Maybe they're neurodivergent, and your service isn't designed for them.

She tells you she has ADHD. You think: "Okay, so she's easily distracted."

But ADHD is more than distraction. And your one-size-fits-all approach won't work.

He's autistic. You've done autism training. You know the "symptoms."

But he doesn't fit your checklist. He makes eye contact sometimes. He has friends. He seems "fine."

Stereotypes about autism are preventing you from actually supporting him.

Let me show you what neurodivergence actually means, how it shows up in community services contexts, and practical strategies for genuinely supportive practice.

Understanding Neurodivergence

What It Means

Neurodivergent: Brain that functions differently from what's considered typical or "normal."

Includes (but not limited to):

• Autism (Autistic Spectrum Condition)

• ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder)

• Dyslexia, dyscalculia, dysgraphia

• Tourette's syndrome and tic disorders

• Some mental health conditions

• Acquired brain injury

• Some intellectual disabilities

Neurodivergent is the identity many people prefer over "disorder" language.

Neurodiversity vs. Deficit Model

Medical/deficit model: Neurodivergence is a disorder to be treated, fixed, or managed. Focus on deficits and what's "wrong."

Neurodiversity model: Neurodivergence is a natural variation in human brains. Focus on accommodation, acceptance, and reducing barriers.

Neurodiversity-affirming practice:

• Respects different ways of being

• Doesn't pathologise difference

• Accommodates rather than "fixes"

• Values neurodivergent strengths

• Centres neurodivergent voices

This shift matters profoundly for how you support people.

Common Misunderstandings

Myth: Autism is just being shy and liking routine. Reality: Autism is a complex neurological difference affecting sensory processing, communication, social interaction, and more.

Myth: ADHD is just not trying hard enough or being lazy. Reality: ADHD is an executive function difference affecting attention regulation, impulse control, time management, and emotional regulation.

Myth: If they don't "look" neurodivergent, they're fine. Reality: Neurodivergence is invisible. Many people mask (hide their neurodivergence).

Myth: Neurodivergent people lack empathy. Reality: Often have deep empathy but express or process it differently.

Myth: Smart people can't be neurodivergent. Reality: Neurodivergence has nothing to do with intelligence.

Autism: Beyond Stereotypes

What Autism People Want You to Know

Language: Many autistic people prefer identity-first language ("autistic person" not "person with autism"). But ask the individual.

It's a spectrum: Not mild to severe. More like different combinations of traits and support needs.

Masking is exhausting: Many autistic people "mask" (hide autistic traits) in social situations. It takes enormous energy.

Communication differences: Not deficits. Different, not wrong.

Sensory experiences: Often hypersensitive or hyposensitive to sensory input (sound, light, touch, smell, taste, movement).

Need for routine and predictability: Changes can be extremely dysregulating.

Practical Support Strategies

Communication:

• Be direct and specific (don't hint or expect reading between the lines)

• Literal communication (avoid idioms, sarcasm without explanation)

• Written confirmation of verbal conversations

• Allow processing time (don't rush responses)

• Don't demand eye contact

Environment:

• Minimise sensory overload (bright lights, loud noises, strong smells)

• Offer quiet spaces for breaks

• Predictable routine where possible

• Advance notice of changes

• Visual schedules or written agendas

Meetings:

• Structure and clear agenda

• Breaks as needed

• Option to fidget or move

• Written follow-up

• One-on-one rather than group if preferred

Respect:

• Don't touch without asking

• Accept stimming (self-regulating movements) as normal

• Don't punish or shame autistic traits

• Believe them about their experiences

• Don't force eye contact or social norms

Don't assume:

• Unable to understand complex concepts (many autistic people have high intelligence)

• Lack empathy (different expression ≠ absence)

• Fine with things because they're not complaining (may not know how)

ADHD: More Than Distraction

What People with ADHD Want You to Know

It's executive function: Not just attention. Also, impulse control, emotional regulation, time management, organisation, starting tasks, finishing tasks, and memory.

Rejection sensitivity: Many people with ADHD experience intense emotional pain from perceived rejection or criticism.

Interest-based attention: Can hyperfocus on things that interest them. Struggle with boring but necessary tasks.

Time blindness: Difficulty with time perception and estimation.

Working memory challenges: Might forget what you said immediately.

Sensory seeking or avoiding: Some need movement/stimulation. Others need calm.

Practical Support Strategies

Organization:

• Help break large tasks into small steps

• Written lists and visual reminders

• Regular check-ins

• Flexible structure (rigid too hard, no structure too hard)

• Deadlines with buffers

Communication:

• Write things down (don't rely on them remembering verbally)

• Send reminders before appointments

• Recap key points

• Check understanding

• Don't take forgotten things personally

Appointments:

• Flexible scheduling

• Reminders in multiple ways (text, email, call)

• Understanding when they're late or reschedule

• Short, focused sessions rather than long ones

• Engaging, interactive (not passive listening)

Environment:

• Option to move, fidget

• Breaks as needed

• Minimal distractions where possible

• Understanding of restlessness

Support:

• Emotional regulation skills

• Time management tools

• Body doubling (working alongside someone)

• Accountability with compassion

• Celebration of progress

Don't:

• Shame for forgetting, lateness, or disorganisation

• Assume they don't care if they struggle with follow-through

• Expect them to sit still for long periods

• Take interrupting personally (often an impulse control challenge)

Dyslexia, Dyscalculia, Dysgraphia

Understanding Learning Differences

Dyslexia: Difficulty with reading, spelling, writing (not lack of intelligence).

Dyscalculia: Difficulty with numbers, math concepts, time, and money.

Dysgraphia: Difficulty with writing, handwriting, and organising thoughts on paper.

Practical Support Strategies

Communication:

• Offer alternatives to written forms (verbal, video, scribe)

• Use plain language

• Break information into chunks

• Repeat and summarise

• Allow extra time for reading/writing

Documentation:

• Don't require handwritten forms if not necessary

• Allow digital completion

• Offer assistance with forms

• Read forms aloud if helpful

• Don't judge spelling or writing

Appointments:

• Written and verbal reminders

• Visual supports where possible

• Check understanding (reading ≠ comprehension always)

Respect:

• Don't equate literacy with intelligence

• Don't shame for asking for help with reading/writing

• Accommodate without making it a big deal

Sensory Processing Differences

Understanding Sensory Needs

Hypersensitivity: Overwhelming sensory input (sounds too loud, lights too bright, textures unbearable, smells overpowering).

Hyposensitivity: Seeking sensory input (need movement, pressure, sound, fidgeting).

Affects all neurodivergent people to varying degrees.

Practical Support Strategies

Environment:

• Offer choice of seating (near door for escape, away from windows for light, etc.)

• Dim harsh lighting where possible

• Minimise background noise

• Avoid strong perfumes/cleaning products

• Offer fidget tools

• Allow movement breaks

Respect sensory needs:

• If they need headphones,

• If they need to stand or move,

• If they decline handshakes,

• If certain textures/smells are difficult, accommodate

Ask: "Is there anything about the environment that makes it hard for you to focus or feel comfortable?"

Executive Function Support

What Executive Function Is

Brain's management system:

• Planning and organisation

• Starting tasks

• Time management

• Prioritizing

• Remembering

• Shifting between tasks

• Managing emotions

• Impulse control

Executive dysfunction affects many neurodivergent people.

Practical Support Strategies

Breaking things down:

• Large goal → small steps

• Abstract → concrete

• Overwhelming → manageable

External supports:

• Written lists and checklists

• Timers and alarms

• Visual schedules

• Reminders

• Calendar systems

• Accountability check-ins

Body doubling: Working alongside someone, even in silence, helps task initiation and completion.

Compassion: Executive dysfunction isn't laziness. It's a neurological challenge.

Communication Differences

Direct vs. Indirect Communication

Many neurodivergent people communicate directly:

• Say what they mean

• Don't use subtle hints

• Struggle with implied meaning

• Need explicit information

Many neurotypical people communicate indirectly:

• Use hints and implications

• Use social niceties

• Assume shared understanding

Adapt your communication:

• Be explicit and specific

• Say what you mean directly

• Don't expect them to infer

• Check understanding explicitly

• Don't take directness as rudeness

Processing Time

Many neurodivergent people need:

• Time to process questions before answering

• Written information to review

• Repetition of complex information

• Silence to think

Don't:

• Rush responses

• Fill the silence immediately

• Interpret silence as not understanding

• Repeat the question immediately

Do:

• Allow processing time

• Be patient with pauses

• Offer to come back to the question

• Provide information in writing, too

Masking and Unmasking

Understanding Masking

Masking: Hiding neurodivergent traits to appear neurotypical.

Examples:

• Forcing eye contact when uncomfortable

• Suppressing stimming

• Scripting social interactions

• Hiding sensory distress

• Pretending to understand social cues

Why people mask:

• Avoid judgment and discrimination

• Fit in

• Keep jobs

• Safety

• Learned from childhood

Cost of masking:

• Exhausting

• Increases burnout

• Identity disconnection

• Mental health impacts

• Shame

Creating Unmasking-Safe Spaces

Your service can be a place where they don't have to mask:

"You don't have to make eye contact with me." "Feel free to move, fidget, or take breaks as you need." "I won't judge you for autistic traits." "You can communicate however works for you."

Explicitly giving permission reduces pressure to mask.

Common Mistakes to Avoid

1. Assuming Visible Disability

Neurodivergence is invisible.

Don't assume someone isn't neurodivergent because they "don't look autistic" or "seem normal."

2. Infantilising

Neurodivergent adults are adults.

Don't:

• Use childish language

• Over-simplify everything

• Make decisions for them

• Treat as less intelligent

3. Applied Behaviour Analysis (ABA) Approaches

Many autistic people are traumatised by ABA (behavioural therapy aimed at making them appear less autistic).

Don't:

• Use punishment/reward to change autistic traits

• Focus on eye contact, quiet hands, and compliance

• Force masking

• Pathologise stimming

4. Sensory Punishment

Don't:

• Force touch (hugs, handshakes)

• Require eye contact

• Make them endure painful sensory experiences

• Dismiss sensory needs as "overreacting"

5. Inspiration Porn

Don't treat neurodivergent people as inspiring for existing.

Functioning labels like "high-functioning" and "low-functioning" are harmful. Support needs vary and change.

When You Don't Know

Just Ask

"I want to support you well. What accommodations or adjustments would be helpful for you?"

"What works best for you in terms of communication?"

"Is there anything about how we work together that I could adjust?"

Neurodivergent people are experts in their own needs.

Ask them, then believe and accommodate.

Learn from Neurodivergent Voices

Not just professionals.

Learn from:

• Autistic activists and writers

• ADHD creators and advocates

• Neurodivergent-led organisations

• First-hand accounts

• Social media neurodivergent communities

Centre neurodivergent perspectives, not just clinical descriptions.

The Bigger Picture

Neurodivergent people are not broken neurotypical people.

They're people with different:

• Neurological wiring

• Communication styles

• Sensory experiences

• Processing speeds

• Needs for accommodation

Barriers come from:

• Services designed only for neurotypical people

• Expectations of neurotypical behaviour

• Lack of accommodation

• Ableism

Supporting neurodivergent clients means:

• Understanding difference, not deficit

• Accommodating, not "fixing"

• Reducing barriers

• Respecting different ways of being

• Learning from neurodivergent people

• Creating neurodivergent-affirming spaces

This isn't special treatment.

It's access.

Key Takeaways

• Neurodivergence includes autism, ADHD, dyslexia, and other neurological differences; use a neurodiversity-affirming approach, not a deficit model

• Many autistic people prefer identity-first language; always ask the individual their preference

• Masking (hiding neurodivergent traits) is exhausting; create explicitly safe spaces where people don't have to mask

• ADHD is an executive function difference, not just distraction; it includes time blindness, rejection sensitivity, and working memory challenges

• Be direct and specific in communication; many neurodivergent people struggle with implied meaning and need explicit information

• Sensory needs are real and important; accommodate hypersensitivity and hyposensitivity without judgment

• Don't assume someone isn't neurodivergent because they "don't look it"; neurodivergence is invisible

• Ask individuals what accommodations they need rather than assuming based on diagnosis

Reflection Questions

• What assumptions do you make about how clients should communicate or behave?

• How is your service designed for neurotypical people? What barriers exist for neurodivergent people?

• What accommodations could you offer that would make your service more accessible?

• Are you learning from neurodivergent people themselves, or only from clinical sources?

Sarah Smallman is the founder of The Community Workers Hub and believes neurodivergent people are experts in their own needs and should be listened to, not "fixed."